Chris I was so glad to see the videos you posted on your journey of self help. I also am on this journey. We all struggle at certain points and then move past and on to the next. I have been feeling it happen. Sometimes we see something and work on it and then it comes back at an even deeper level to be worked on again. I have been frustrated at times most times actually.

I would love to have a discussion set up with others that are on this same path of discovery. I think you and I share a common trait in fear. You were afraid of the sphere that came to see you and I am also in fear of seeing what lies ahead in these other dimensions. I don't know how to over come it but its nice to have a safe place to talk about it. Thank you for that.

Very interesting topic. I think I can relate to the problem you describe. I would say there are two aspects of it that are difficult for any person to deal with, regardless of age or where you're at in life.

1) The feeling of being on the move without the security of a firm footing, and having to change your goals as you go along.

In your own words:
"Sometimes we see something and work on it and then it comes back at an even deeper level to be worked on again. I have been frustrated at times most times actually."

I know this feeling. It's like you're climbing high on a really long ladder trying to reach some distant star in outer space, but as you climb, the length of the ladder increase and splits off into multiple ladders going in multiple directions, and then you realize the star you were chasing was the wrong one and you need to navigate elsewhere just to find your bearings. It's a burdensome feeling isn't it? :P But I believe it's also what makes us human -- and what makes being human so rich and wonderful.

Now, I believe that there's another important aspect to what you describe --

2) Being afraid of where your own potential might lead you and being frightened to embrace new opportunities.

I think this is a problem faced by all of us at various stages of life, but we rarely admit to it being an actual problem. I can't even begin to tell you how many opportunities I've squandered in my own life. Life constantly throws up challenges and opportunities, and it's down to us to either face up to things or ignore them. Life is hard and often we don't believe we have the strength to face up to things that appear difficult or impossible. But at the same time, facing challenges and hardships is the very thing that helps us to grow -- both mentally and physically. Personally, I know that I haven't lived up to my potential in life, and one of the reasons I love watching Chris and AMTV is because of their courage and can-do spirit. I continue to watch this channel because I feel their energy and can-do spirit rubs off on me. I love the fact that this channel is driven by pure passion and a strong work ethic -- they just put the message out there without worrying about criticism, abuse or censorship. This takes strength and courage and there's much to be learned from it.

At a slightly deeper level, I don't know if you read philosophy at all, but I would recommend reading the works of thinkers like Nietzsche, Dostoyevsky, Kierkergaard and Albert Camus. They have all written extensively on themes relating to self development and individual growth. You might find some of their books helpful.

Lastly, If you feel that you can personally relate to Chris then I would recommend watching all of the videos in the self-help section located here: https://amtvmedia.vhx.tv/self-help

Its really nice to have someone with similar views to talk with. I have read some Nietzsches years ago. I then stepped away from all this for a very long time but recently have awoken to it again. I feel like I am at the beginning of trying to discover myself.

What I have come to realize it that no matter how many videos I watch and reading I do, it all leads back to listening to self and working through the issues. It is this part that I am struggling with as I see my mistakes, the problems I have created for myself. I just need to find peace within.

I am trying to escape my ego and that is no easy task and second guessing myself on my motives. It seems we can have goodness but unless the motivation behind it is pure, it is still an issue that needs to be worked on! LOL

This is my area of struggle as well as giving up bad habits such as smoking. I want to quit so badly but can't find the willpower to make it happen. That is only one of my weaknesses but one that I am really struggling with.

Thanks for lending an ear. It helps to talk about this stuff.

Nancy

No problem Nancy, and I'm glad you decided to stay. Once again I can personally relate to much of what you wrote -- I have my own demons that I fight with (e.g. trying to get fitter, cutting down on alcohol, being more positive and meaningfully productive, etc, the list goes on!).

I agree with you that reading and absorbing information from elsewhere can only do so much for a person. You can believe in certain ideas and values, but acting upon those ideas and values is a different matter entirely. Most people tend to change and reform their habits very slowly and with great difficulty.

There really isn't a simple answer to any of the questions you raise, but I think it's important to recognize that we all have strengths and weaknesses. Acknowledging these strengths and weaknesses is a critical first step. We need to first take a step back and look at ourselves in the mirror. I'd say it's become even more difficult to do this in the internet age due to our addiction to 'infotainment' and our addiction to screens, devices and efficient solutions. There's no app that you can download to help fix any of the issues you mention. And most of the important things in life don't exist on a digital screen, even though we sometimes pretend that they do. There is a lot of work that needs to be done outside of the internet, but this takes discipline (or 'willpower' as you said) which most of us don't have.

I guess we all have to work on ourselves, once vice and one weakness at a time -- and do the best we can with what we have. As for the 'self' and 'ego', there is a quote from Thomas Szasz that I always go back to now and then:

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."
-- Thomas Szasz

Sorry for rambling, I wish I had a better answer for you.

I get it completely. I have been an internet junkie since it first arrived. I had my devices with me all the time even when I went to bed. I am now trying to shut down the wifi and stop radiating myself and only going on a few times a day. At the very least breaking away from it for a few hours away from all electronics. Sitting outside in the sun and meditating. Wish the weather would cooperate though! LOL